Hooked On A Feeling: Feeling Like You Are the Only Person Talking Up Your Book

The official smashwords.com conversion of my very first novel into multiple formats has spawned a new era of linking my facebook to my twitter to my blog, launching an ATLAS facebook page, uploading the few reviews I've managed to accrue over these lean and hungry months of stooping to beg the world for a response... It is daunting doing all of this alone. And while around every cyber-corner that isn't selling cyber-sex, there's a cyber-service offering to help me spread word for a nominal fee, I remain the truly cheap stoic of self-publishing and struggle onward through the quagmire.

My goal was never to be an overnight publishing sensation. Books that usually attain that title seldom last a year before they're chucked into the Hollywood stump-grinder and fed to the roots of the poisonous tree of "pop culture." I merely wanted to get some feedback from readers and so far, I've had nothing but positives from the few who've managed to buzz through the 415 pages and type up their opinions on amazon.com. Even now, as I add all the links I feel like one of those guys who's talking to much about a subject no one is interested in, as if the entire world had better things to do than read and still better things to read than my book.

It's probably just self-deprecation and the neurotic fears of failure we all deal with as fledgeling authors yearning for the sweet embrace of a few prolifically poetic critics and fans. I know there are writers who struggle 20 years to get where I already am and yet, I still feel like I've only moved two inches on a journey that I thought would take me to the moon and back within the brief span of 3 months.

Ah, well... At least I'm learning more and more about social media, meeting and talking with other authors at various stages of their careers. It really is a treat to chat with writers of different genres who discuss audiences, characters, plots, and twists in their own uniquely stimulating terms. It reminds me of the best parts of workshoping in college. I really wish I could get some guests to stop by this blog and post some little quips, promos, or insights into the indie-author life from a perspective less pragmatic and pessimistic than my own.

I am a troll in need of a unicorn.

Sincerely,

Benjamin Smith

A Statement of Educational Philosophy

Shakespeare attributes King Lear with a brilliant lamentation; that “When we are born, we cry, that we are come to this great stage of fools.” This quote serves me in my understanding of education by sounding upon the key concept that all knowledge is unknowable and while students may grow old and reach a level some would call “maturity,” they never cease their learning. As a teacher I am still a student and I intend to point out to my future students that intellect, feeling, strength, and position in life are what you make of them.

I believe that education is a life-long endeavor of individuals to make sense of the world surrounding them and the role they play in it. Through physical, emotional, social, and intellectual experiences, the students learn about established practices, canonical thinking, and the status quo with the aid of an authoritative guide who challenges them to question every precept.

This guide, it is important to state, is aware of his own status as a learner teaching a fellow learner and is hesitant—in fact reticent—of brandishing absolute authority and wisdom. A guide is unbiased, ethical, open-minded, and always willing to help a student along the never-ending journey toward understanding. A want to improve drives all learning. A teacher strives to gain as well as give, walking beside the student in conversation and doing his best to allow progressive thought to take hold and lead the experiment toward a series of epiphanies that define the student’s individuality.

More than just preparation for the future or a ladder of achievements denoting merit and determining employment, education is a way of life. At the heart of learning is curiosity and inquiry. Learning to ask the important questions as we discover them helps us find depth and purpose in our lives. Helping students to develop a deep love and respect for themselves, others, the society as a whole and their environment occurs through an open sharing of ideas and a judicious approach to discipline. Making mistakes and understanding consequences keeps us aware of our impact on the world and the importance of constant reflection and adjustment.

Each student is unique and self-motivated. They obtain knowledge through interactions and construct curriculum from what is seen, heard, and done. A teacher actively engages students in constructivist activities and encourages discussion and cooperative learning. This teacher does not mold the students’ minds, merely helps the minds to mold themselves and define the world in their own terms. A teacher presents essential and perennial texts and allows students to accept or reject them while demanding rationale for all statements and conclusions. A teacher uses emotion, memory, reason and external stimuli to expand the students’ universe and challenge the students’ presuppositions.

I ascribe to the idea that a teacher acts as a facilitator of learning, serving as a resource guiding exploration, helping students to gather evidence and draw conclusions through the use of the main branches of philosophy. This is done in the safest most congenial manner, respecting the culture, background, thoughts, opinions, and intelligence of all students, while meeting the educational standards set forth by our society.

I feel students need compassionate, strong, and dedicated individuals who embrace the role of luminary with humility and a sense of adventure. This teacher strives to meet his students’ individual needs, works to instill a sense of purpose in their lives, and respects, above all else, the diversity of their thoughts, opinions, and cultural backgrounds. Though education may never yield a universal understanding for any of us, it is important that we strive always to better ourselves, our students, and our society through the expansion, dissemination and distilment of knowledge. I only hope I can serve as one of many teachers each of my students’ will discover through the course of their lives.

Shakespeare's Ghost is Trying to Kill Me

Given infinite time and space and only a finite amount of matter, its highly likely that I would end up sick with a touch of flu on a beautiful day like today. I’ve managed to make mint tea, ingest some eggs, and perhaps later I might edge my way outside in the hopes of absorbing some Vitamin D to offset the effects of the cold and flu medicine/orange juice stupor I’ve managed to self-inflict. On days like these, with nothing but time, I begin to realize how weird it is to be a blogger.

What do I do, really?  I sit, type my opinions and thoughts as though they were weighty ones, and then I publish them for an entire world to read. I seldom sensor myself, and I’m happy to say I like the idea that one day someone will look at this blog and begin some sort of campaign against me for committing the cardinal sin of typing a swear word or posting an erotic story or two.

I complain a lot and I know many people think that gets old quick. Especially when I am no one special who demands to have my thoughts and opinions tossed into the CNN/FOX/MSNBC centrifuge and distilled down into the basis for misguided judgments made by people who would rather condemn another than truly sit down and examine themselves for fault. “Yet better thus and known to be condemned than still condemned and flattered."



Shakespeare's Birthday Celebration April, 2012

I don’t know when I got sick, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I overdid it this weekend; four shows of King Lear, one night out with the cast, one night up past 2 o'clock watching one of the worst movies ever made, a day playing Shakespeare to commemorate his birthday (yes, as you can see, I wore hose), and then auditions that ended with me nearly losing my voice and dizzily tumbling into bed with a severe headache and the foreknowledge that I would spend most of today utterly useless.

Its afternoon now and I have yet to turn on a television. I’ve caught myself up on outstanding summer work applications, surveys for my old alma matter, brewing tea and drinking it like its actually something I prefer over coffee, and now updating my poor old blog to the edification of you, my dear subscribers. All of this leads me to believe that I’m probably going to write today if nothing else.  The question is whether to put a good dent in the first draft of my next book or keep up the continuity and character polish on my “interim” project?

Writing about writing is kind of interesting, but I think it’s not very entertaining to most readerships. Some authors have this taboo against multiple projects and I understand what old Phillip Roth said about how “the road to hell is pathed with works in progress.” Today, however, I have only to make a decision between two. The main project of the next few years or one of the small projects I prefer to use to keep myself from burning out on just one story line.

Anyway, I’m procrastinating slightly by warming up on this blog post… Hope you are all well.

Sincerely,

Benjamin Smith